LOST LIFE

Maria sat on her bed, looking at the heart shaped pendant on her neck. The pendant once meant much to her. It was given by the love of her life. But today, it was all gone. There was no more meaning to her life. She removed the chain and threw it onto the floor. She lied down on her bed thinking of all her problems and how she couldn't find a way through them. Her family was miserable, parents were going through a divorce. Her friends, well she hardly had any. She always felt lonely and betrayed by her boyfriend. It seemed to the world she was happy, but she was not. Nobody understood her sadness. Everybody asked her to be brave. But she couldn't. She started weeping. But she knew very well, her tears would have no effect. She would still be the one nobody cared about.

She drank the milk laced with poison. This would be her last night with problems. This would be her last night in the world. She would escape from all the pain and start a new beautiful life as another self, she thought. With a sigh of relief, she lay on her bed and closed her eyes.

She dreamt of the pretty garden her mom would take her as a kid. Her mom and she were sitting on a bench watching their dog run around the park barking and chasing anything he spotted. She saw herself happily smiling at her mother while she told her stories. She told her how her dad worked hard to become what he was. She told her how she fell in love with him and how they were lucky to have a wonderful daughter. She told her she was the most wonderful gift given by God and would do anything to not lose her. She told her she would support every decision her lovely daughter would make but asked her to be careful while doing so. She asked her to be brave and face challenges instead of giving up. She smiled and kissed Maria and started speaking again. Her mother talked about her childhood. Then she talked about how much she loved her parents and wished they were with her. In the midst of this beautiful conversation though, her mother started to disappear. The dog barked and then howled. Maria tried to hold her but within seconds she was gone and no one would know where.

She then dreamt about Lizzy. Lizzy and Maria were in her school. They had written a test and she had flunked. But Lizzy was an intelligent girl and would always get good grades. Lizzy was excited about the test but when she saw Maria getting hysterical, she became worried. She tried to convince Maria that grades don't matter but it wouldn't help. Lizzy stood up and left the room. She saw Lizzy going into the staff room. Maria followed, wondering what Lizzy was going to do. She thought she was going to complain about her to the teachers. Maria noticed that there were no teachers though, apparently the whole staff was away for a meeting. Class papers were lying on the table and she saw Lizzy pick up the papers. She noticed her replacing a set of papers with some others.
The next day, they got their grades. Maria failed, it was of no wonder. But when Lizzy's grades were announced, she looked at Maria and winked at her naughtily. Lizzy had failed too. Lizzy, who was sitting on the other corner of the class, later passed a note to her which read 'Girl, I'd do anything for you to be happy. Don't cry. By the way, failing seems awesome. I should do it more often'
Maria read it and laughed. She turned to look at Lizzy to thank her but she noticed her disappear to nothing. Her classmates seemed to notice no change. But she saw it, Lizzy wasn't there anymore. She was gone.

Maria tried to wake up. This nightmare had to end. She didn't want to sleep forever dreaming crazy stuff. She wanted to see the real world. But no, her body wouldn't let her. And neither would her mind. She gave up when she saw another dream take over.

She dreamed about him. He was waiting for her in front of the theater. He said he had been waiting for over an hour. She apologized for being late. He didn't accept. He accused her of being so careless about the relationship. He informed that the movie has started already and he didn't wish to go inside now. She said he never made her happy and only kept pointing out her mistakes. She said she couldn't do it anymore and started walking away. But he followed her. He shouted from behind, 'Please sweetie, don't do this. I'm sorry. You know I love you'
Maria's heart dropped a beat. This was the first time he said that to her since they started going out. She stopped and looked back. He was running towards her. When he reached her, he was panting. He ignored the discomfort and gave her a subtle smile. He took out a small gift from his back pocket and gave it to her. The gift was a beautiful pendant. She was wearing it when she saw him walk away. He walked first and then ran, until he was far from her sight. He was gone too.

Just like her people, her dreams disappeared. Her dreams of waking up with her guy, her dreams of being there on Lizzy's wedding and her dreams of making her mother proud.
Her life disappeared and her soul sprang into the nothingness when she took the drastic decision of escaping the pain that the same beloved relationships gave.

The soul that remained would never forgive itself. The life it lost, would always be regretted for generations to come. Alas, with life or without, there was no escape from pain. It was too late though, for her to realise that pain has to faced, not escaped.